Tuesday, May 10, 2011

No Update for Monday this week

I did not go to Weight Watchers yesterday. I found out yesterday morning that my grandfather was taken to the hospital in Bowling Green. Robyn and I decided to go see him during the day which meant we both left work early.

The doctors said he had a Mini-stroke. They kept him overnight and I have not heard anything yet this morning.

I ask that you keep him and my grandmother in your prayers.

As for the weight loss,  I am not sure where I stand but I do know that just taking a "sammich" (as Robyn calls them) to work for lunch is actually quite filling. No more do I feel the need to go to the cafeteria at Lipscomb and gorge myself at lunch.

Stay tuned for more this week.


Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Ok, last Friday I. . .

Last Friday I had to go to the wonderful Metro employees clinic cause it felt like my allergies had taken a Louisville Slugger to my face with congestion and pain all over it.

While at the clinic I realized that something was out of control. It was me.

Follow me over the past 12 years.

1999-2000: Smyrna HS
The only picture that really does it justice is this one from the Smyrna band trip to Florida.
Try to look past the silly peace signs I was using. 
I was around 180 lbs. 

2001: Hopkinsville, KY
Just before graduation.
Here I was in between 180-200 lbs.

2001: Russellville, KY
Just before going to Murray State for my freshman year.
I was probably in the 200-215lb range here.
I wish I could remember what it felt like. . .

2004: Chuck & Alyson Morris' wedding, Mt Vernon, IL
Was probably starting to push 250 around this time frame.

I really don't remember when I crossed into the 300+ category. The next few pictures are the most influential and noticeable of me at 300+. That are the ones where I just recently realized, I was thinking I looked the same but didn't really equate the size difference and the physical toll it had started to take on me.

Me in the center. Self nicknamed "The black and white striped blimp"

Florida trip in Summer 2007.

Retreat to Camp Meribah April 2008.

Christmas 2009

Again Christmas 2009.

Chucks rehearsal dinner April 2010.

MVYG Skating devo 2011.

and April 2011 softball.
This one was added per a comment of  "This is funny!" from FB. 

And that is how the story comes full circle. Why did I tell of the visit to the clinic? They say the scale doesn't lie. I prefer to think that certain scales, mostly those that I really disagree with are faulty some how. That day, probably due to the weight itself but also due to the shock of the scale, my pulse was racing at 120bpm. I have never had problems with pulse. Blood pressure yes, but pulse was always good. My bp that day was 120/88. but the pulse was crazy higher than normal. 

The scale stood there and slapped some reality into me, HARD. I vowed to myself when I crossed 300, that I'd never cross the 350 mark. 

Friday the scale hit me with 348 pounds of pure honesty. 

I don't have a choice. The only thing I can do is focus on fixing this. It is out of control. I AM out of control. 

Due to the frustration and anger with myself that has developed over the past 5 days, I have rejoined WeightWatchers. When I started the program on Monday evening I had to weigh. I dreaded this moment. See, I had joined and had been going but I stopped going back in November of 2010. 

Monday evening I started WW again at 341lbs. 

My ultimate goal is to get back to the 1999 me. It is a long road but I need too do this for myself but MOST importantly for Robyn.

Along the path I have goals that are set for me to have motivation for each one of them.

5lbs - a new book or audio book
10lbs - an afternoon at the Observation Lot
20lbs - a print of one of my pictures, TBD
42lbs - (the sub-300 goal) a new pair of jeans
60lbs -  a camera accessory, TBD 
80lbs - a new pair of Rockport shoes
100lbs - framing of the 20 goal picture, TBD
125lbs - a celebration with family and friends (got that idea from Bethney Salmon)
141lbs - a new suit, shirt and tie.

Ok so that may be the strangest list of goals, but it is what will motivate me to continue on the journey of determination to lose, the weight that is :)

Stay tuned for my journey and progress updates weekly after WW meetings.